Forever
by goldenboat
Summary: What happens when duty compells you to go against your heart? A reconstruction of Alexander's wedding night from my imagination.


It was one of those nights. Some called it serene and starry…yet the wisest among them shook their grey heads and saw something sinister under its seemingly peaceful exterior.

Here and there one could see people huddled together in a merry chatter around food and wine. They were very happy.

Alexander had taken a wife. Though she was a barbarian…but they were overjoyed. It's because marriage spelled endless possibilities of an heir..of peace…of stability.

But all was not as they seemed. Just like the night itself…the interior of the royal tent showed a different picture….

The royal bed was a scene of utter disarray. The two people who were lying on it were far cry from traditional wedding bliss. The royal bride Roxanne was in deep sleep at one end .She resembled a wild beast too tired after a bloody chase. The paint on her face was smudged and smeared after exertions of the wedding night. Her serpentine hair was lying scattered all over the pillow in thick coils.

On the other end of the mattress …one could see a body of a man lying still. He wasn't sleeping like his partner. He was staring into nothingness.

His golden torso was scarred with marks of nails and teeth. Someone hadn't loved it…but had felt the need of leaving marks of crude ownership all over . He was bleeding all over from these numerous sites.

A thin stream of blood was flowing steadily from the corner of his lips. Someone hadn't kissed but had ruthlessly bitten into the soft flesh.

The man stood up all of a sudden and winced. Walking over to the basin..he looked into his reflection in the water and closed his eyes.

He was Alexander. He was someone they all looked up to.

Until today he was the emperor….the warrior….the indomitable force in war and peace alike.

Until tonight he was his Phai's. His body was a temple his Phai worshipped. His lips were the alter where his Phai prayed through his kisses. To his Phai..love was a prayer in itself.

Until now.

The night had changed it all.

What remained was an all pervading sense of being defiled..an utter hatred towards his own being…his own body. He was his Phai's temple no more.

Standing in the middle of the royal chamber Alexander felt lost. The very fact that he had let someone touch him burned him inside out. Everything became meaningless all of a sudden.

He went to the bedside table and picked up the ring lying there. Clutching it to his chest like a lifeline he let some tears fall.

Alexander looked around the room and his eyes fell on a cloak lying on the ground. Wrapping it around himself he made a hasty exit into the darkness.

It was an irony indeed…he thought. All the land was his and yet he had nowhere to go. Two tearful cyan eyes haunted him like no other.

His body was swarming with foreign sensations he could no longer point out. His skin now felt like an infested organ sullied with foreign touches. Unable to take any more of it , Alexander doubled over the hard ground and began retching. But unlike the other times, there was no warm presence behind him giving him unwavering love.

The retching stopped and Alexander dropped on the hard cold ground like a dead weight.

"You are sacred to me Alex!" Phai had said to him one night. He recalled the words and laughed mirthlessly. Sacred. He had to be sacred again. Closing his eyes he looked heavenwards as if in a silent prayer….ready to sacrifice all his power and wealth in exchange of the innocence he once possessed.

But the heaven remained unresponsive as usual. It rarely played with free will and human follies. Alexander shook his head and drew out his trusted dagger from under his cloak.

He wanted it more than ever. His mind refused to see reason and was filled with a maddening desire . He wanted to scrape away the remnants of the night from his body…to scratch away the unknown scent that covered him without his wish.

He was the emperor..the warrior..the lord already. He just wanted to be Phai's again.

The sharp edges just about touched the golden skin when a quite voice spoke out all of a sudden.

"It's mine." the voice said.

Alexander startled and looked up to find Hephaistion standing in front of him. He wasn't surprised because Phai had found him. He had always known that they were tied together with an invisible bond..and could never be far away. What confused was the fact that Phai still wanted to see him.

"Give me the dagger. Alex!" Hephaistion said in a calm voice…extending his hand towards the other man. Alexander shook his head in answer…getting up as if to make a distance between them.

But the further he went…his brunette was there with him. "Please Phai! I..I want it." Alexander whimpered, "I swear it won't hurt me!"

"But it would hurt me" came the answer, "That's my body you are hurting…that's my hand…and it's my blood flowing from those wounds!"

Alexander looked at the scars in his hand as if to find the truth. Hephaistion utilized the moment to get hold of the dagger and throw it away.

Closing the distance between them, the brunette caught his golden one in a bone crushing hug.

"Its all right..its all right my king!" someone murmured, "You're mine still!" Alexander couldn't take it any longer. He broke down into large heart wrenching sobs that shattered the stillness of the night.

Hephaistion gave his king some time. They both needed it more than anything else. The sobs died down and Alexander looked up to find two ever loving eyes. They had been his refuge since long.

A hand moved all over his body as if in a silent prayer. "It's my temple Alex." someone whispered.

Their lips met in a chaste kiss .

"Forever" someone whispered in Alexander's ears.

He smiled at last.

Forever.


End file.
